My life today.
*clears throat*
Okay, okay I guess it's safe to say I'm back to blogging.
It's been years since I came on here just to spill my life. I honestly think I was spilling my life. Talking about some of my past. Past that still haunts me.
But. lets talk about Today.
More specifically, right now. My children are replaying this youtube video because they think this girl jumping with the monkeys on the bed is the funniest thing in the world. So I'm here trying to get my mind off the TV on full volume and the chip crumbs underneath my feet. My house is literally a disaster right now. OMG, I totally glanced to my left and saw the pb&j and banana I gave to my baby to snack on, scattered all over the floor... heeeeelp me.
I decided to start writing again because throughout the years I've neglected to be on here, I have been on Instagram sharing my life like a (non) professional writer. I love it. For that reason I decided to jump back on here. I felt the space on there is just not enough to express what I'm feeling or want to talk about. So let me start this blog talking about how fuck up my day has been..
We woke up early today, a Saturday, on a weekend day because my 6 year old daughter maddison had her graduation ceremony at 9am. But, being a mother means you have to wake up extra early. I had my alarm for 6:30am but I got out of bed at 6:55am. Went to get myself ready but not like the cute over the top makeup ready, more like put my glasses on and brush my hair ready. I woke up maddison and joshua next and started helping my daughter with her hair. My baby was asleep with her dad until 7:40am because magdalena didn't sleep well last night. She went to bed past midnight so you already know what kind of day I'll be having.
Fast forward to the graduation we were already running late to, well not late late but late that we didn't get front seating.
Magdalena is already walking around, not sitting down. Cool cool, she's a kid who didn't sleep enough. What can I do besides comfort her. Then, I notice my daughter needed a diaper change. I told my bf, let me just change her here because I know there wasn't going to be a baby changing area in the high school restroom. Now, IDK if it's just me or what but has anyone ever changed a diaper in under 2 minutes? ME!!!!! especially if you're in a public place that's not "appropriate" enough for a diaper change or you got to low-key hide that you're about to do something that feels illegal, lol. My bf wasn't having it. He felt that it looked "bad" maybe even "ghetto" that I was about to change her there on the seat. We kind of went back and forth and he told me to go find a place to change her and I told him maybe he should find a place to change her because I"m always the one having to go out my way for my children, like changing my daughter's diaper changes *WE NEED MORE CHANGING TABLES IN THE MEN'S RESTROOMS* yes I completely understand how dramatic that sounds now but I AM ME! I ended up taking her to the restroom and guess what...? I changed her standing up. I changed a toddler's diaper standing up and it took longer than 2 minutes, smh. Best believe I came back and told my bf about it! He kept quiet this time!
The ceremony started and so did my child. Magdalena was screaming, uncontrollably. I tried taking my breast out but she wanted BOTH. Fuuuck, I couldn't expose my chi chi's like that. Especially, if one is just for twiddling. The next two hours was a drag. Ever went to a nice ceremony or event and there's that ONE child screaming like their dying, like their parents are a piece of shit, uhhhh that was our daughter and us today! The worst.
We made it through though, I mean we had no fucking choice. We went to eat then to a soccer game. Joshua is the player, his dad is the coach of the team and me, I'm simply the mom. I''m the mom who sat in the car alone with an emotional toddler who didn't want to sleep so I let her roam in the car while I waited for the game to start and tried editing some pictures I took for Instagram (got to stay real). No Bueno! She kept pushing all the buttons to the AC/radio and screaming and opening the doors, yes opening the doors, what the actual hell dude. We got out the car and I was left with entertaining her for an hour on the sideline while her dad enjoyed coaching the game. It was hot, I was tired. Baby kept putting her hand in my shirt screaming and pinching for BOTH breasts, I didn't give in. She screamed bloody murder!
Game was over and so was I.
We came home and she knocked out... finally... with both my chi chi's exposed on the bed, leaking milk down my body, but idgaf. I wanted her to sleep, I needed a break. Babe was gone to work and I jump in the shower 30 min later and guess what happened...? yeup, the baby woke up screaming, again. I jumped out the shower to my older children telling me she woke up *rolls eyes*. I used my magic boobies and she was out again, praying it was longer that time.
Today, was a day that I honestly hated. I was frustrated when I should of been enjoying more of the day. We won the soccer game but I didn't give two fucks. Shit, I don't even think I said congrats to the boys *cries internally*. I HAVE YOUTUBE re-playing on my TV (not a mom fan of yt) just so I can have some peace and quiet to type this and it's not even working that well. My oldest children have been fighting back and forth because I think some of my negative energy rubbed off on them, bad mom!!. The baby is currently tugging on my leg pant. My house is a fucking mess. I didn't even cook dinner, We've been snacking on chips, dried cereal, sandwiches, fruits oh and cookies. I also drank 3 cups of soda guys, THREE fucking cups. No shame over here. It's so crazy how life plays out, it's funny how mom life plays out.
.
.
.
I'm glad I expressed my day on here, though. I feel like I can breath again. I know what I went through today will happen again and again. It's the days that aren't like this when I should be worried. Today, reminded me that I am human, I have feelings, and I have a button that was pushed. Is it the end of the world, maybe lol jk No it's not. But I have a new day tomorrow. So for today I say thank you for reading my life, life behind the beautiful pictures I shared on Instagram of my children.
I welcome myself back and send you guys much love.
- mother jamfar
Okay, okay I guess it's safe to say I'm back to blogging.
It's been years since I came on here just to spill my life. I honestly think I was spilling my life. Talking about some of my past. Past that still haunts me.
But. lets talk about Today.
More specifically, right now. My children are replaying this youtube video because they think this girl jumping with the monkeys on the bed is the funniest thing in the world. So I'm here trying to get my mind off the TV on full volume and the chip crumbs underneath my feet. My house is literally a disaster right now. OMG, I totally glanced to my left and saw the pb&j and banana I gave to my baby to snack on, scattered all over the floor... heeeeelp me.
I decided to start writing again because throughout the years I've neglected to be on here, I have been on Instagram sharing my life like a (non) professional writer. I love it. For that reason I decided to jump back on here. I felt the space on there is just not enough to express what I'm feeling or want to talk about. So let me start this blog talking about how fuck up my day has been..
We woke up early today, a Saturday, on a weekend day because my 6 year old daughter maddison had her graduation ceremony at 9am. But, being a mother means you have to wake up extra early. I had my alarm for 6:30am but I got out of bed at 6:55am. Went to get myself ready but not like the cute over the top makeup ready, more like put my glasses on and brush my hair ready. I woke up maddison and joshua next and started helping my daughter with her hair. My baby was asleep with her dad until 7:40am because magdalena didn't sleep well last night. She went to bed past midnight so you already know what kind of day I'll be having.
Fast forward to the graduation we were already running late to, well not late late but late that we didn't get front seating.
Magdalena is already walking around, not sitting down. Cool cool, she's a kid who didn't sleep enough. What can I do besides comfort her. Then, I notice my daughter needed a diaper change. I told my bf, let me just change her here because I know there wasn't going to be a baby changing area in the high school restroom. Now, IDK if it's just me or what but has anyone ever changed a diaper in under 2 minutes? ME!!!!! especially if you're in a public place that's not "appropriate" enough for a diaper change or you got to low-key hide that you're about to do something that feels illegal, lol. My bf wasn't having it. He felt that it looked "bad" maybe even "ghetto" that I was about to change her there on the seat. We kind of went back and forth and he told me to go find a place to change her and I told him maybe he should find a place to change her because I"m always the one having to go out my way for my children, like changing my daughter's diaper changes *WE NEED MORE CHANGING TABLES IN THE MEN'S RESTROOMS* yes I completely understand how dramatic that sounds now but I AM ME! I ended up taking her to the restroom and guess what...? I changed her standing up. I changed a toddler's diaper standing up and it took longer than 2 minutes, smh. Best believe I came back and told my bf about it! He kept quiet this time!
The ceremony started and so did my child. Magdalena was screaming, uncontrollably. I tried taking my breast out but she wanted BOTH. Fuuuck, I couldn't expose my chi chi's like that. Especially, if one is just for twiddling. The next two hours was a drag. Ever went to a nice ceremony or event and there's that ONE child screaming like their dying, like their parents are a piece of shit, uhhhh that was our daughter and us today! The worst.
We made it through though, I mean we had no fucking choice. We went to eat then to a soccer game. Joshua is the player, his dad is the coach of the team and me, I'm simply the mom. I''m the mom who sat in the car alone with an emotional toddler who didn't want to sleep so I let her roam in the car while I waited for the game to start and tried editing some pictures I took for Instagram (got to stay real). No Bueno! She kept pushing all the buttons to the AC/radio and screaming and opening the doors, yes opening the doors, what the actual hell dude. We got out the car and I was left with entertaining her for an hour on the sideline while her dad enjoyed coaching the game. It was hot, I was tired. Baby kept putting her hand in my shirt screaming and pinching for BOTH breasts, I didn't give in. She screamed bloody murder!
Game was over and so was I.
We came home and she knocked out... finally... with both my chi chi's exposed on the bed, leaking milk down my body, but idgaf. I wanted her to sleep, I needed a break. Babe was gone to work and I jump in the shower 30 min later and guess what happened...? yeup, the baby woke up screaming, again. I jumped out the shower to my older children telling me she woke up *rolls eyes*. I used my magic boobies and she was out again, praying it was longer that time.
Today, was a day that I honestly hated. I was frustrated when I should of been enjoying more of the day. We won the soccer game but I didn't give two fucks. Shit, I don't even think I said congrats to the boys *cries internally*. I HAVE YOUTUBE re-playing on my TV (not a mom fan of yt) just so I can have some peace and quiet to type this and it's not even working that well. My oldest children have been fighting back and forth because I think some of my negative energy rubbed off on them, bad mom!!. The baby is currently tugging on my leg pant. My house is a fucking mess. I didn't even cook dinner, We've been snacking on chips, dried cereal, sandwiches, fruits oh and cookies. I also drank 3 cups of soda guys, THREE fucking cups. No shame over here. It's so crazy how life plays out, it's funny how mom life plays out.
.
.
.
I'm glad I expressed my day on here, though. I feel like I can breath again. I know what I went through today will happen again and again. It's the days that aren't like this when I should be worried. Today, reminded me that I am human, I have feelings, and I have a button that was pushed. Is it the end of the world, maybe lol jk No it's not. But I have a new day tomorrow. So for today I say thank you for reading my life, life behind the beautiful pictures I shared on Instagram of my children.
I welcome myself back and send you guys much love.
- mother jamfar
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